25 Movies I've Neglected to Review since September 2016

FINALLY, I present my backlog of movie reviews -- the oldest of which was shown in September 2016. I know, I have no excuses. Here's a list for you to just ctrl-f if you don't want to read all of them:

1. Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them
2. Moana
3. Kimi no Na wa (Your Name)
4. Rogue One: A Star Wars Movie
5. Saving Sally
6. Babae sa Septik Tank 2
7. Die Beautiful
8. Sunday Beauty Queen
9. Sing!
10. La La Land
11. Hidden Figures
12. Lego Batman
13. Why Him?
14. Logan
15. Beauty and the Beast
16. Baka Bukas
17. Power Rangers
18. Koe no Katachi (A Silent Voice)
19. Gifted
20. Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2
21. Dunkirk
22. Shinobi no Kuni (Mumon: Land of Stealth)
23. Love You To the Stars and Back
24. IT
25. Kingsman: The Golden Circle

That's... a lot. Honestly, at this point, this post is more for my peace of mind than anything else, hahaha. Let's get to it!

2016

Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them

Pictured above: Newt doing The Most.

• Generally fun, but very slow at times. Immediately got boring the second time I watched it. Overall though, it was better than any other movie that may have been inspired by a textbook. The shift to the American magical community was a bit meh, and I do feel the Harry Potter franchise is a bit over-milked, but I'm keeping an open mind. I hope they keep Newt around. Get that progressive masculinity we rarely ever see on the big screen!
• Takeaway: Why do I now ship Ezra Miller and Colin Farrel?

Moana

Pictured above: She is Moana of Motunui, with Maui aboard her boat, about to restore the heart to Te Fiti.

• Absolutely incredible in every way - storytelling, songs, visuals, character and plot development. I watched this movie six times and cried every single time. Just... the soundtrack in surround sound, man. It does things to my heart that I can't fully understand. A+ work; I would have watched it again the seventh time in theaters if I had the time and money.
• Takeaway: Does Disney have some sort of plan to infuse their animated movies with Broadway stars (Idina Menzel, LMM)? If they employ those Dear Evan Hansen/La La Land people next time, we'll be able to confirm it for sure.

Kimi no Na wa (Your Name)

Pictured above: A signature element of the body swap trope. A+.

• Holy creppes this was tiring to watch, but it was honestly one of the most amazing contemporary anime movies to date. The visuals were stunning, the story made me CRY (what's new), and man, I just really love the body-swapping trope in general, haha. The RADWIMPS song also complemented the story well, and it was just a very well-crafted film overall. Lovely to watch and it really felt like a privilege to behold ♥ Even non-anime-watchers can enjoy this genre-transcending movie. (#Pak, ganern.)
• Takeaway: Everything is musubi!

Rogue One: A Star Wars Movie

Pictured above: Budget C3PO.

• I wondered for a while why I didn't feel inspired to write about Rogue One, but it was mainly the fact that the characters kinda fell flat for me. It was a good story with a nice tie-in to the adjacent Star Wars movie, but eh. The good parts of the trailers didn't even make the final cut. This YouTube video is a good summary of my feelings. (Follow that YouTube channel if you like that -- it's very interesting!)
• Takeaway: I sometimes really want the characters to get together, and that was true for the main characters in this movie.

2016 Interlude: Metro Manila Film Festival!

Saving Sally

Pictured above: The early 2000's making a comeback?

• Despite being one of the more disappointing films of the past MMFF for me, this was still at least a fun watch if only for the visuals. The plot was weak at best, the characters felt flat (which they actually pointed out in one truly ironic scene), and the dialogue was awkward and clunky, but the movie as a whole was inoffensive. Good step forward for Filipino movies in terms of innovation.
• Takeaway: Yay animation!

Babae sa Septik Tank 2

Pictured above: (Left to Right) Me outside, me inside

• I loved the first one, and I loved this one just as much. The first one made fun of the grit and grime of the ~traditional Filipino indie movie, and as such was released to the indie crowd, and this second one made fun of ~traditional Filipino commercial romcoms, and as such was released commercially. Great use of irony and BST is always a fun meta-narrative of itself.
• Takeaway: Eugene Domingo. That's it, that's the takeaway.

Die Beautiful

Pictured above: See caption for Babae sa Septik Tank 2

• AMAZING. From the nonlinear storytelling to the treatment of the main character's conflicts, to the perception of being gay in the universe -- everything about this was 3-dimensional without resorting to emotional manipulation. They don't resort to the usual tropes and stereotypes, and when they did, it was in manner that fleshed out the character instead of a lazy narrative choice. I particularly loved the scene where Barbs looks down at Trisha's casket and says, "Pagagandahin kita." This is not surprising at this point, but my tears were pretty much instant in that scene ♥
• Takeaway: Everyone needs a Barbs in their life.

Sunday Beauty Queen

Pictured above: How I picture myself looking from the back after a good shower.

• Pageants are apparently part of the Filipino identity, because this is another pageant film - but that's really where the similarities with Die Beautiful ends. SBQ was a wonderful documentary, full of heart and life, showcasing in its entirety the fun times and hardships of living away from your family and country. This was really beautifully shot -- it felt like a same-day edit that really captured the essence of OFW life.
• Takeaway: We should have more documentaries!

2017

Sing!

Pictured above: #Diversity

• This was a lot of fun. It didn't try to be more than it was - it was a film about embracing differences and finding unity and music. Just... featuring animals. Full of fun songs and heartwarming moments. This isn't groundbreaking cinema - not even particularly memorable cinema - but it was a good time!
• Takeaway: THE KINGSMAN DUDE CAN SING?

La La Land

Pictured above: Saviors of jazz, apparently.

• Honestly, this was an Okay Movie. I figured out about halfway or so that I just was not the target audience for this movie. I'm not sappy, I'm not a fan of the #hugot culture. (Not that there's anything wrong with liking that kind of thing! That's why I'm saying I'm not the target audience, haha.) Still, the songs were nice and I found the plot interesting enough. The characters were a bit meh, but it was fine. That's actually a good overall review: "It Was All Fine."
• Takeaway: We should be dancing through EDSA to get through Another Day of Traffic Sun apparently.

Hidden Figures

Pictured above: No witty captions. JUST A BUNCHA BAD-ASS WOMEN.

• I WEPT, I CHEERED, I FELT ALL THE FEELINGS. Wow. This was such a well-performed film. I loved everything about it. I felt every pivotal emotional moment, I connected with the plights of the characters, I could understand the gravity of what they've been through and what they were able to do without being an American. That's how good it was - you can connect to it just by being human.
• Takeaway: Bathrooms can and should be more strategically placed.

Lego Batman

Pictured above: Again, see caption for Babae sa Septik Tank 2 and/or Die Beautiful
(also, see Extreme Left for another preview of me inside)

• Almost illegally hilarious. After the, how do I put this diplomatically, shitstorm that was BvS, Lego Batman was a much-needed reminder of why this superhero is arguably the most iconic of all. Let me tell ya, I love me some Dick Grayson, and seeing this plastic toy incarnation only served to help that purpose. The references, the exaggeration of certain tropes, the Batfamily moments, the crossovers from other fandoms. Very Good Stuff.
• Takeaway: Why is this movie so adamant that I ship Batman and The Joker?

Why Him?

Pictured above: My future self making a pact with my past self to never talk about this movie again. 

• I don't even remember why I watched this (I do -- I was forced by peer pressure), but man was it brainless entertainment. It was raunchy, it had some laugh-out-loud parts (who am I kidding, it's me, it was one whole laugh-out-loud part), and it starred Richard Blaise as a caricature of himself. I dunno. I actively try to not recall anything about this movie.
• Takeaway: We watch some things so we can continue our friendships with people.

Logan

Pictured above: Proof that a picture presented without context makes it that much cooler.

• Inspired by Deadpool's insanely positive reception as an R-18 superhero flick, 20th Century Fox has finally allowed itself to produce an R-18 X-Men movie that delivers on every level -- just, in the most opposite way possible. This movie was painful, it was tough, and it was all worth it in the end. This is the kind of gritty, stripped-down superhero movie that I never knew I needed. Everything hurt and it was all beautiful. Hugh Jackman should really get some sort of award for playing Wolverine this long.
• Takeaway: I need that Wolverine kid to be The Best at whatever she decides to do in her life.

Beauty and the Beast

Pictured above: Following the example of Sing!, the Beauty and the Beast cast boasts of #EvenMoreDiversity

• I actually thought this was great! I loved the cast, I loved Emma Watson's less-than-perfect singing (I teared up when she sang, "I want adventure in the great wide somewhere, I want it more than I can tell," like "YES, I feel you, Belle. You hang in there, sis."), I loved how they showed the beast, I liked that they tried to tie up loose ends, I liked the new songs, I thought Be Our Guest was so much fun, I wept at Emma Thompson (if nothing else, because I LOVE EMMA THOMPSON and I aspire to care as much as she does about what other people think - that is, very little to not at all), and I just found everything very entertaining.
• Takeaway: "An inexplicitly-gay character in a Disney film?"
  

Baka Bukas

Pictured above: Me, trying to hide from this movie, but it keeps remOVING
THE BOX OF PEACE AND SANITY FROM MY HEAD. 

• I wrote a long review about this movie because I hated it so much, but I decided not to finish/publish it because I just hoped no one would watch it. This was awful, and I didn't enjoy it all. It was well-shot, but it felt more like a string of disconnected and trying-too-hard-to-be-deep-and-artful Same-Day-Edits than any cohesive narrative. Also, ten minutes into this movie and I hated EVERY CHARACTER. I wondered how any of them were still friends. The end was confusing and had zero build up, and it didn't make any sense, and I need to stop writing about this because I just end up riling myself up. Ugh.
• Takeaway: Seriously, the characters in these are The Worst. I felt a bit like I was watching the first episode of Arrow again -- I rooted for no one.

Power Rangers

Pictured above: Probably not any of the actors in those suits lol. Also, LIP MOLDINGS ON THE HELMETS??
What is that even supposed to do?!  

• I enjoyed this movie a lot! It was fun, it had a relatively simple plot, no gaping/distracting plot holes, interesting enough characters, giant robot/kaiju fights, etc. Your basic Power Rangers episode without the kitsch and cheesy effects (which I began to miss at some point, but that says more about me than the movie). Harmless entertainment! I am actually looking forward to the next one.
• Takeaway: "A gay Power Ranger?!"
  

Koe no Katachi (A Silent Voice)

Pictured above: A bunch of characters, and double the issues between them.

• THIS MOVIE WAS SO HEAVY. I was in shock most of the time, literally asking, "What is going on?" during one half the movie, and, "When and how is this even going to  end?" the other. It was okay story-wise, its characters were meh, and I mostly felt like it was trying to tackle too many things at once. If you're watching this because you watched Kimi no Na wa, the look and animation styles are similar, but KNNW had better-developed characters and, tbh, a more cohesive narrative.
• Takeaway: I don't even know, man. I needed a drink after watching this.

Gifted

Pictured above: An AU of Logan...?

• Wh-what?! A Chris Evans movie other than Captain America that doesn't star him as a conceited jock with a heart of gold?! I mean, I love you Chris, but even you admit your movies are kinda... one-note.
  
  ANYWAY, Gifted was a breath of fresh air, and I loved it a lot. Dad!Chris is so adorable, and watching his onscreen relationship with McKenna Grace (who played his daughter) made me feel warm and squishy inside. Chris Evans aside though, I thought this was an interesting take on the child-genius trope, and I thought it presented a lot of interesting questions. Do you prioritize the "normalization" of someone who's clearly out of the norm at the risk of leaving their growth stunted? Or do you encourage them to hone their potential at the risk of alienating them? Can you achieve a balance of both? I don't know! Just watch the movie.
• Takeaway: Honestly, if Bearded!Dad!Chris Evans can't pull you in, I don't know what to say to you.

Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2

Pictured above: Purity, joy, unspoiled wonder, light of my life, edification of my spirit

• Another movie I tried writing a review for but stopped halfway. This was great in a lot of ways and I think it was actually a lot better than the first Guardians movie -- better soundtrack, better dialogue, funnier and more interesting character dynamics. It might just be a matter of personal opinion that I am so done with Chris Pratt. I am just... tired of seeing him. There's not even a specific reason why, I'm just bleh about him, but I'll admit that I like him 70% more when I'm watching him has Peter Quill and/or Andy Dwyer.
• Takeaway: How many snarky white dudes are gonna be in Infinity War?! Three real-life Chrises, two movie-verse Peters... Diverse.

Dunkirk

Pictured above: Me watching this movie. I dunno what I'm trying to say here, but that's just how I probably looked while watching, haha. Also, the proportion of Harry Styles that appears in this screencap is an accurate representation of how much of a role he has in the movie. 

• Aka the movie ONTD wouldn't shut up about re: Harry Styles' "Oscar debut," lmao. This was a good movie! It's not something I would usually actively want to watch, but it was a very visually poetic film. It did a great job of portraying the grit and grime of war. Other than that, I'm going to be totally honest with you, I could not catch what they were saying half the time because of the accents. Subs please!
• Takeaway: Maybe I'll enjoy this more when it comes out on DVD/Blu-ray?

Shinobi no Kuni (Mumon: The Land of Stealth)

Pictured above: Accurate picture of me about to get in line to buy tickets to the movie :D

• YEAHHHH ARASHI MOVIE IN PHILIPPINE CINEMAS!! Never mind that -- an Ohno Satoshi movie in Philippine cinemas!! This was actually great! It was fun and full of heart, though the tone seemed to shift at times and it seemed to be trying too many things at once. I loved Ishihara Satomi's character, loved how the characters were portrayed, and honestly, I can even forgive the tonal shifts because I could understand what they were for. Also, Ohno in fight scenes!! I'm going to stop using exclamation points soon but I'm going to use it one more time because: Bonus Tsunagu in surround-sound too!
• Takeaway: That scarecrow special effect still haunts me in my dreams.

Love You To The Stars and Back

Pictured above: A visual representation of about 90% of the movie. If you play Torete in the background, you'll get to 98%. 

• I thought this was a little bit overhyped, but it was a pretty good movie. I don't know what to make of the light treatment of suicide (or "aliens meme.jpg"), but I loved how well-rounded and multi-faceted the story was. I'm particularly impressed with Joshua Garcia's acting skills and how he was able to handle the complexity of his character! Awkwardness of calling each other "mommy" and "daddy" aside (modern culture has forever ruined the purity of the word "daddy"), I actually also enjoyed the development of the relationship between the two main characters and the fact that it wasn't only about their relationship, but what they were each going through and how that affected their connection. There's a lot of interesting layers to this, but I'll leave it at that.
• Takeaway: Apparently road trips are the best metaphors(...?) for ~life journeys according to Antoinette Jadaone.

IT

Pictured above: A pretty cool idea for a creative shot in the yearbook, tbh. I mean, if you're into this kind of thing.

• I want to preface this by saying I hate horror movies and I never watch them if I can help it because they stick around in my mind and then I'm just unable to function normally. IT had been getting such rave reviews though, so I decided to brace myself, bring a large jacket to hide behind, and just watch it. And you know what? It was FANTASTIC.
  
  It was funny, it freaked me out, it had me almost standing up because of a jump scare, it made me feel warm and squishy, and in the end, it made me cry. I gotta tell you, I cry at the weirdest movies because I'm so easily touched, but this has got to take the cake. The scares weren't cheap -- they had narrative functions and they were carried out really effectively. I don't know how they plan to carry out the sequel like... Aliens? Turtles in outer space? Giant spiders in caves? Is that last one what inspired JKR to create Aragog?
• Takeaway: My takeaway is the realization that this would never fly in modern times because a clown that ~feeds on fear cannot be feared in a generation that, apparently, really wants to bang it.

Kingsman: The Golden Circle

Pictured above: The newest star of the Food Network.

• I only saw Kingsman 1 on television, but I really loved it. Kingsman 2 was about the same level of awesomeness, but what really made it for me was how on the nose it was about our current situation in the country. MY GOD, could it have been any more relevant? I got a headache about halfway through because it was too real. I don't know how other countries/cultures might react to this movie, but it came at the right time here, and that made it all the more poignant. The action scenes and fun characters helped too. The ~relevant issue aside though, the story could have been tighter and better-crafted. Something about it just didn't feel as cohesive as the first movie.
• Takeaway: Burgers have never looked so... wrong. Also, Elton John. Just in general.

And that's it!

I have 4 reviews for the Pista ng Pelikulang Pilipino movies coming next. Hopefully, that won't take another year 🤞🏼🤞🏼